Diy Deserter Gifts

"He's making a retirement statement - he's burning all his DIY books."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"Home depot."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

D.I.Y

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

"The new house is almost ready!"

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

Like father like son.

'Workmate' bench helping DIY man "Left a bit"

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

Manual Worker

"We'd like you to think of it not as a 'brick', but rather as an essential component of a potential self-build project."

"When things have returned to normal I might take this up for a living whaddya thing?!!"