Diy Champion T-Shirts

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

Building a treehouse may be harder than I thought.

'Why don't you put that little black belt thingy to good use, and karate chop me a couple of shelves for the hall closet!'

"My wife should be on the plane by now. She's taking half an inch off the bottom of the kitchen door."

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

Your Home Remodel Team

"This is just a model, but you get the idea."

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

Big boys' toys-r-us

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

Music

Self-employed.

"Don't disturb Daddy darling: he's just received his new issue of "Basic Tools Monthly"..."

Escher flat-pack furniture

"You see? You gotta turn it counter-clockwise."

'My son made it for me in shop class.'

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

'Honestly, madam, every home should have one.'

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

"Mijo, I'm very proud of you... How hard you work at your school and your job. I think it's time you get your dream car."

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

Painting and decorating

Well paid job

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

'My mother says I can't make anymore furniture for our house.'