Divorce Diva Pillows

Second marriage vows.

'We were married before, and now he wants a rematch.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

I could have danced all night!

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

'I'm too hot to trot.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Balancing work and family

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Ironing day.

"I had to skip my workout."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

The last song before the party exploded.

Dancing at the Clubs.

Disco Bunny.

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Dance.

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

Washing Line Walker