Division Master T-Shirts

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"He loves his leaf blower."

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'I think they're up to something.'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"THIS looks like a job for ... somebody else."

Thanks for the heads up on the gelatinous cube!

For Greg, it was just another predictable day at Kraft,

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'No I didn't cast Detect Evil to work it out! Let's just say I aced my Female Intuition roll...'

'Get your mitts off my leaves!!'

Football - How's my Diving?

I'm sorry, your honor, I'm a little distracted. Would it be okay if I were to continue questioning the witness via cell phone from the hall?

I like that, Frank! You take a nose dive and keep on smiling!

'Why is a teacher always first on the scene?'

Wanna hang later? Yep. You meatheads are standing side-by-side texting! Why not just talk to each other?! Because: Your eyeballs are burned away from staring at your screens and you can't see actual reality!!!! I hear strange rhetorical noises. Put on your iPod LOUD and they'll go away.

'Replace divots'

Suddenly Jimmy didn't feel so alone in the world.

'Can't you just bat them between your paws like everyone else?'

"Apparently they're both going for back to back wins."

'My dad has more hit points than your dad!'

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"

Man, the king must really hate that song. YMCA.

"Nasty slice you have but now we're on this course, we may as well switch to it."

"Stop randomly texting angry emojis, then put your phone down and your hands up."

"If you want something done give it to a busy man."

"There! I finished the display! It was hard, but I did it!"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot - thanks!"

"About the merger, please don't use the words 'takeover' or acquisition."

"Fantastic job on the rattle! Now let's focus on the shake and the roll."