Divine Waiters Gifts

"Please hold. God knows you are waiting."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"We'll start with the dessert menu."

"My child when you look at a flower,you see the face of god!"

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

Zagat Rated.

Vicar's driving lesson "Here endeth the first lesson!"

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

God Plays Baseball with the Earth

"It's made with real angel hair."

Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.

Lunch-Hour Highlights

'You want a pizza with everything? -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that?

God's Phone

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

All You Can Eat

"It's the quarantine cloud."

"Entropy already? You just made it?"

You Can Sponsor an American for Just $6 a Day

"I find it helps to imagine Go as some kind of divine creator."

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

'...and blessed be our new church nursery, which allows certain congregation members to catch up on their sleep during my sermon.'

Good Samaritan responding to hurt man: 'I'm part of God's TLC plan.'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

"I need 3 orders of chicken wings. One, too Hot, one, too Cold and one, Just Right."

In the very beginning.

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

'You play the nurse and I'll play God.'

"Mom and dad were right. We really do come from Heaven."