Divine Surveillance Enthusiast T-Shirts

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

"Ok, I found a secure line."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

'Okay - who leaked?'

The General's Cat: 'Always vigilant!'

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

Elusive Shadow.

The EP-21 spy plane.

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

'Daddy, you and Bobby will have lots to talk about...he's a professional sniper, too.'

Top Secret - Destroy before reading.

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

A spy

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

"I don't need to take notes. I'm wearing a wire."

Spy Satellite

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

"They rubbed my tummy, chief- I told them everything."

'Margaret our phone's been tapped!'

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

Old cold warriors home: 'By god, I'll tell you who was soft on communism. . .'