Divine Socialites Gifts

"Welcome - pleased to meet you! I'm the Entertainments Officer..."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

Follow God On Twitter

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

Social Notworking

"Brian's considering the optics."

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Dog Teenagers

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

Man and woman meet in bar, in strained poses. He says: 'Now we've met, can we drop the Myspace poses?'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Imogene is just back from an extended trip through the Navajo country."

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'