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"Would it have killed him to put in a basketball hoop?!"

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

A surprise in heaven

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Zeus's Caddy

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

2pm meet your Creator

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

God's Law.

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Hallelujah!"

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

Earth Mover 3000: A not-so-happy God with the humans about to use an Earth Mover on Planet Earth

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

Mrs. Almighty.

Moral Outrage.

"Can we discuss this?"

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.