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Maybe you should have called them "The Ten New Year's Resolutions" --- that way they might have lasted at least a couple of weeks.

God's attempt to stay incognito failed.

"Surely that was the case in school or at a new job. Here, however, there is such a thing as a stupid question."

"I, of course, meant seven business days."

Adam and eve riding a tandem bike

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

'Are You sure about this 'manna' thing? -- If You feed them, they'll never go away!'

'God has another message for you: Knock it off. You're being a downer.'

'And make it look like an accident.'

Closed Thursdays.

Almost Your Time.

"So how come you didn't give 'everyone' common sense."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Zeus's Caddy

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"Beware of God"

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

The Reason for Storms

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

No, I'm not going to aim at that mouse, either!