
"Would it have killed him to put in a basketball hoop?!"
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"Would it have killed him to put in a basketball hoop?!"
Ten Plagues for Today's Seder
"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"
A surprise in heaven
"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"
"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."
Zeus's Caddy
'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'
"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."
"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."
"Enough with the treehugging already!"
"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."
God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000
'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'
The Assumption of Mary
2pm meet your Creator
No, I'm not going to aim at that mouse, either!
Needless to say, God forgot the legs.
"At the time I thought it was a goose."
'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'
"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"
God's Law.
"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."
Earth Mover 3000: A not-so-happy God with the humans about to use an Earth Mover on Planet Earth
Thwarting the Boys from Brazil
'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'
"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"
"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."
"Hallelujah!"
God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.
Moral Outrage.
Mrs. Almighty.
Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.
"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."
'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'
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