Divine Paradox Lover T-Shirts

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

The Meaning of Life

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

'I have a twitter account to slag off my facebook friends and I use facebook to insult my followers on twitter.'

'Chef's salad as ordered.'

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

It's my manifesto on living "off the grid," mainly compiled from my blog, tweets and Facebook posts.

Right Against Right.

Grenadiers

"Eighty percent polyester."

"We have ways of making you say yes, but I want you to want to say yes."

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

'I've been looking everywhere for that!'

Zeno Gives Directions

'The doctor told me to get away for a while..Where I live, in the country, it's just too quiet for me, so I've come here for a vacation.'

'Say that again and you're a dead man!'

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"Is that your beeper or my beeper?"

The City that Never Sleeps.

"She sleeps outdoors a lot for someone who refuses to go camping."

Fastest slowest animal

'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'

Smoking in the Paradise.

'National Public Television now presents 'Monday Night Chess'!'

Angels smoke outside the Pearly Gates

'It's okay, they're holy smokes.'

'They like the manna, but they're afraid you're fattening them up for something.'

'I'm afraid you're a hypochondriac Mr Jenkins... but luckily we have a pill for that!'