Online Paradox Lover T-Shirts

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

The Meaning of Life

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

Decisions: Yes or No, 'Or maybe?'

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

"We have ways of making you say yes, but I want you to want to say yes."

Grenadiers

Right Against Right.

Zeno Gives Directions

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

"Is that your beeper or my beeper?"

'The doctor told me to get away for a while..Where I live, in the country, it's just too quiet for me, so I've come here for a vacation.'

'Say that again and you're a dead man!'

The City that Never Sleeps.

National Paradox Foundation: We're closed come in.

'I know one never knows, but I don't know how one knows that.'

Fastest slowest animal

'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'

Smoking in the Paradise.

'National Public Television now presents 'Monday Night Chess'!'

'I'm afraid you're a hypochondriac Mr Jenkins... but luckily we have a pill for that!'

Agnostic Prophecy.

"No, yours is more useful, believe me."