Divine Intervention Appreciator Gifts

"Is this your first foray into self-publishing?"

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Just my luck."

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

'Is this a 'cash for clunkers' deal?'

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

The real reason for the hole in the ozone layer.

"For the last time- I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons."

'Hey, good news, we had a look at the X-rays. Turns out, God is on your side.'

"The Lord has heard your prayers and has sent me to say unto you, shut up about it already."

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

"Who did you think has been drawing you all this time?"

'In your defense, I see you're not very bright. Most folks take the elevator.'

Man on the way to Heaven worries about steps.

Vegetarian Heaven

'Tell me about yourself. How long have you been dead?'

"Oh, that's the problem - it was unplugged the whole time!"

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

'This message contains confidential and/or legally privileged information, unintended recipients may not use, copy or disclose any portion of this transmission.'

'Let's go home, coach. If God was going to intervene with a miracle and change the final score to save your job, it would have happened by now.'

The expulsion from the Garden of Olive.

'Now they're praying for the Sun to stand still - You really should have told them more about physics.'

Cloud 10.

A Chariot of Fire Takes Elijah Up To Heaven (The Holy Bible).

God throwing a lifebelt.

'You'll get used to this very easily - you always were a deadbeat.'

"I never thought I would miss billboards!"

'New Charismatic'