Divine Intervention Appreciator Gifts

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

"Just my luck."

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

'Is this a 'cash for clunkers' deal?'

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"

The real reason for the hole in the ozone layer.

"For the last time- I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons."

'Hey, good news, we had a look at the X-rays. Turns out, God is on your side.'

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

'In your defense, I see you're not very bright. Most folks take the elevator.'

Man on the way to Heaven worries about steps.

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

'Tell me about yourself. How long have you been dead?'

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

"Oh, that's the problem - it was unplugged the whole time!"

Vegetarian Heaven

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

'This message contains confidential and/or legally privileged information, unintended recipients may not use, copy or disclose any portion of this transmission.'

'Let's go home, coach. If God was going to intervene with a miracle and change the final score to save your job, it would have happened by now.'

'Now they're praying for the Sun to stand still - You really should have told them more about physics.'

'New Charismatic'

Cloud 10.

A Chariot of Fire Takes Elijah Up To Heaven (The Holy Bible).

"I never thought I would miss billboards!"

God throwing a lifebelt.

'You'll get used to this very easily - you always were a deadbeat.'

Clergyman prays for divine intervention.