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Vicar's driving lesson "Here endeth the first lesson!"

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'Okay - who leaked?'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

'Wow! -- Talk about family values!'

Route 666.

Heavy Traffic.

Give Way To Cyclists

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

"I think you better let me drive, I haven't renewed your license yet."

Gas eyedropper.

'Another short-cut, dear?'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Moses conducts the Red Sea orchestra.

The Pope's bags getting carried by an angel.

I've stopped you so often I've decided to give you a season ticket!

GPS: 'Sorry return to the main road.'

"You realise that the job involves Sunday work?"

A leap of faith.

"It has a nice, divine quality without being overly liturgical."

'Now I know why this Satnav was going out cheap.'

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

God's Writers Block

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

"Just accept the ticket and let's go. The hot dog's getting cold."

"Dry cleaning, pet store, Salvation Army - I'd be lost without my stickies on the dash!"

'Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?'

Baby kangaroo has a seatbelt on.

DMV - Enter Here

Parking

Smelling Salts at the Petrol Station.

'Whoa - you're not murdering anybody today until you get your seat belt on, mister backseat psychopath!'

"Never, NEVER sit on top of the truck."

"On the sixteenth hole? I can sympathize with you, but I can't let you go back and finish the round!"