Divine Dialogue Enthusiast Gifts

"Wow, …. who does your voice-overs?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Dialogue

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

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A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."