Divine Comedy Buff Pillows

Bertram de Born (The Divine Comedy).

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Backfire

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Night-time halo

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Bloody hell!"

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"OMG, LOL!"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Is there a vegan option?"

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Beware of the frog"

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Zeus's Caddy

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Cat Hecklers

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.