Divine Birthday Planner Gifts

"How do you know how old God is?"

"Do I have many meetings today?"

Babies.

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

'First item on the agenda...Throw out the agenda!!'

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

Hi! You want to, like, hang out? Sure. When are you free? Twig! Time to pack. We're leaving!! In about a year? It's on my iCal.

Heavenly meetings.

"It's definitely Friday. I'm looking at my calendar."

"It's because her boss has forgotten her birthday."

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

"But. . . You always wanted a cat! Okay, maybe I shouldn't have packed your present five months ago. . ."

Baby boom expected due to corona

"First, I storyboarded it."

'Darling, I told you not to call me at work.'

"My mom set up this blind date, but then again, her favorite TV show is 'Beauty and the Beast'."

'To make a long story short, your biological clock has jet lag.'

Man hanging out underpants on washing line.

Ok, I've set you up with an offshore back account, so you can hide your valuables for use after the oncoming apocalypse. You're too kind, sir. Where is it? Caymans? Switzerland? That's amateur stuff. The economy's increasingly global. When America goes down, it could take the Swiss and Cayman economies down with it. Then where – To open your account, I'll need your passport, tax returns, and a map of your genome. Bank of Deneb Prime. Trump turned me on to it.

'Don't look now, but Cain and Abel messed up your 'Natural Selection' program.'

'What did you get me for my birthday?'

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

'Happy Birthday To You...'

"Today our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington."

"No one remembered a knife for the ... cake?"

The end of the world is nigh - Get your specially adapted clock here

No caption. (Baby decides which bottle to choose from a rack in a basement. The rack looks very much like a wine rack.)

"Forget the comet! We're going to make a killing on end-of-the-word merchandise!"

"It is the end of the world, but who would have thought it would be so noninvasive and convenient."

'It's our first. Don't know where to begin. Haven't even picked out a domain name.'