Divine Apparel Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'You think it's easy being me? You don't know how hard it is finding a pair of gloves that fit.'

"That shirt is so last year."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

'We are gathered here...'

"I opted for the upgrades."

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

Angel Golf

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'

Football

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

'You're going to school dressed like that? I can hardly see your underwear!'

Jesus Suddenly Realizes It's Almost Father's Day

'Well yes. I guess it makes you look taller.'

"Don't look now, but they suddenly got REALLY fruitful!"

'But you particularly wanted a sleeveless pullover!'

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."

Football of the Gods...

'Never, Ever...pull on a loose thread hanging from your shirt.'

"Is Thursday O.K. or do you need it sooner?"

Rugby heaven

Do it right the first time.

Golfers' Heaven

"I like it here, except it's just the one outfit."

'Adam was okay, but I'd like the next project to be more user-friendly.'

Golf Sale

'Neck a little tight, sir?'

"I'd like to buy my husband a yarmulke of the type worn by Rudy Giuliani."

"Oh no, sweetie. I don't play. I just want to look like I do."

Orthodox Priest

"I don't like jockeys. They ride up on me."