Diversification Guru Gifts

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Sir Winston Churchill

'Here's MY information highway!'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

The Dubloon Stops Here

Will work for ETFs

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

Teamwork!

"Invest in technology."

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

The Shrinking Dollar.

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.