Distortion Humor Fan Gifts

A crooked guy looking normal in a fun house mirror.

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Director/Action Man toy.

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

What's normal?

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

The Brothers Grime

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

10 K Tail-Chase

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

The Snarky District

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

On the brink.

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Parade of Businessmen