Dispenser Devotee Pillows

Bubble Gum Dispenser

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Happy Hour

Thomas Hardy

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"Bonk!"

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

Team Flute

"I'd call that 'A victory for science.'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"We've done it! We've done it! We've discovered a detergent that takes the chore out of washing and makes all other detergents seem old-fashioned by comparison!"

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

One book... One book... One book...

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

'You'll be very happy here...I know I am!'

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'I wish we could find a quick and easy way to remove blood stains...'

"What do you say we let the service sector handle our dining needs for tonight?"

"Presenting a Few of New York Curiosities"

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

Give Thanks.

"Then write it up for The Journal of Surprising Discoveries."

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

'Single or double?'

'Don't drink on an empty head.'