Disorderly Dweller Pillows

'I can't get into my room because of all the clothes, books and C.Ds piled up against the door, so we have to go in this way.'

"Come and get it!"

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

Student Food Pyramid

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.

Biting Slippers.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

Early American Think tank

Please use other dimension.

'But this IS my mobile home!'

"A minute on the lips"

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

'I love you Jeff, but you have two chromosomes less than me and I guess I can't handle that'

"What does 'giddyup' even mean?"

'I've fallen and I can't giddyup.'

No I haven't finished sulking yet!

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

Recruitment Agency - "Of course the top drawer candidates are more expensive."

"Hello, county? You folks are over doing the mosquito fogging today!"

Looks like a nice day out...virtually speaking.

'We can't afford a bigger house, and stop referring to your room as your cubicle.'

Using a Snow Blower in Dorm Room.

"Holmes, I keep telling you ... you've got to be more assertive with that horse."

"He used most of his personality on the Internet. I get what's leftover."

The wasps revenge.

'Well. . . my first year of college is going okay, but I really wish I could get some new roommates.'