Disharmony Humorist Gifts

The Noisy Neighbours

"I meant the dog!"

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

Headlines at Our House

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

T-rex takes a selfie

Mash-test Dummies.

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

Two friars ringing bells

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

"Ooo - nice! What chord was that?"

"I'm not sure how to tell you this, Glenda, but you've been sitting on a golf ball for the last three times."

"Actually, I'm from New Jersey. The nickname comes from thirty years in the textile business."

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

'You are a fool...I said 'Why don't you wear a BANDANA!'

'The law is clear. The salami sandwich sits downwind from the bench.'

"If I ever get my own business, I'm going to practice the Golden Rule."

'I could sweat the invitation said '7 a.m.'.'

Cello Saw

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.