Discworld Aficionado T-Shirts

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

Anna Calvi

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

Orchestra.

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Elvis Presley

"Toi Toi Toi!"

You're the botanicals in my gin

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Karataoke

Bryan Ferry

My other cello is a Stradivari

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Kanya West Inspired Children Books.

Eric Clapton.

Fossil record player.

Woman crying with happiness.

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

"So, to sum up, I would like to say that Shakespeare is an awesome genius in the same category as Albert Einstein and Jerry Garcia."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

Jimi Hendrix.

Elevator Music