Discount Wizard Pillows

"Oh great! It's the Coupocalypse."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Gerald Ratner's return

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'I'll take the one on the right.'

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

'Wow, my own desk!'

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Giant Sale!

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

Websiteless -- please help.

The imagery attacks the compalcency of the casual web surfer and uses a visual cacophony of discordant images to excite and enthusethe casual visitor...

Serious bummer! The bank says I'm overdrawn.

"The company must save money. That's why we've got to be easy on the carpet."

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

'I guess this is what we get for going to a discount web-page designer.'

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

'Good news I'm ten percent under budget.'

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

Number 2 in a series of unlikely events: "There's more money in the budget than we know what to do with so you don't need to ask me every time you just need to spend a few hundred quid."