Online Shopping Wizard Pillows

Admit it, you've grown soft from doing all your shopping on the internet. Soft? I'm efficient. In minutes, I can buy more than you can buy in a whole afternoon at the mall. Maybe. But you can't survive the mall. You can't handle the crowds, the decision-making, the impulse-buy situations. You couldn't even handle … Careful. The electronics department! You'd fold. You'd buy the wrong thing and have to exchange it and lack the courage to return to the jungle! You watch your mouth, lady! Anyhow, it

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"Wow, is this the new bomb blast express drone delivery service?"

"We're out of fresh beefsteak so this is the next best option."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Your Entire Life Delivered To Your Door!

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

"What's the cheapest thing we can order and still get a box?"

"It looked different on the internet."

You Shouldn't Have

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

The Evolution Of Man - Hunt and Gather/Point and Click

'Enough EBAY already!'

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"My Doordash driver is at the front gate."

Online Trading

"It's a pitch spork. I bought it online."

"It's just not the same."

'I don't know Joe, maybe we;re using the wrong kind of glass?'

'It's a gadget for buying gadgets over the net.'

'Gee, mom, how DID that happen? Maybe we better Google it!'

It's been a pleasure taking you to the cleaners.

"If you purchased this guy's everlasting soul, here are some of his friends who may be willing to sell you theirs."

Nethead strip: Sale.com

I don't think we should have linked the remote to the credit card

Snow White looking at dwarf hats on the Internet

Internet taking money from a man's pocket

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"