Disaster Responder Gifts

"If the pandemic wipes out the locusts, and the floods take care of the drought, then we may not have to take any action at all."

'I want to report an earthquake.'

'It's the plumber ... '

An infinite loop of disasters

"I'm not having a nice day."

'It's oil spill. We must be near civilization.'

Give To Tsunami's Victims.

"The Junta says it's already well-equipped to help its people with their suffering."

'If only I believed in God, then I'd have somebody to blame...'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Natural Disasters

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

Protect Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

Coronavirus Global Alert

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

"I can see our house from here."

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Ticket and passport, please."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

Frontline health workers

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

In a twinkling, Rover shed his leash and became Duke, Wonder Dog of Kansas city.

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"