Disaster Chef Admirer Pillows

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

TV Chef Cooking Range

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

'The casserole didn't make it.'

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

Hot Halloween Costumes

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

'Well excuse me, but if your chef's so great, why is he in the kitchen instead of a TV show?'

"Whoa! That's a lot of flame, Beth. I'll pick up a fire extinguisher on my way back from the gym."

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"Arrrrrrrrr. This be bad."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"How did you know we were having pancake flambe again?"

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

The Origin of Volcanic Eruptions.

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

Smelly fish.

'I'm not an experienced cook so I use the smoke alarm as my timer!'

"How is everything?"

Smoke gets in your eyes.