Disaster Analogy Fan Gifts

'Keep going...the future of trite metaphors depends on us.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Desert Island Mishap

'You know our track team stinks when our star pole vaulter is better at the limbo.'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"There goes our early night."

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

A cock up of builders

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"Shall I kiss it better?"

"May I suggest hard a-starboard, or port, or whatever!"

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the earth."

Some just ain't cut out for wind farmin'.

A shark swims into a desert island.

"Sometimes it sucks to be the Captain."

'I can see the sea!'

'When the fire department arrives, Ms. Lilly... send them right in!'

"... Till death us do part."

"So apart from the minor hiccup...how was your cruise?"

The tip of the iceberg

Children and cat crashing on cart

Daft Buggers Rescue

"Don't worry - the dog's out at the moment."

Flood Ready Cows

'Actually, I don't think any safety program would have caught this one,'

"I know they say a bad workman always blames his tools but - a faulty plumbline!!"

"I had a little fender bender on the way home. The fender is in 6th Ave., the bumper on the 5th ave, the door on 4th and the hood around the corner."

Reporters on train, ship, and plane disasters.

'I can't stop, it's a stimulus package.'

Man hitting himself in the head with a hammer.

'This is the place, Fred!'