Dirty Joke Aficionado Gifts

"I told you to use a condom."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"Why do they do that?"

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

What's normal?

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

Clown's Comedy Fart.

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

"Eat me"

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

Higher wisdom...

"Amateurs."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'