Director Wannabe Gifts

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

Quentin Quangotino

Pony Director

Director/Action Man toy.

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

Reese Witherspoon

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

Ye Editor. It’s a little downbeat, Will. How about making it a comedy and changing the name from "Othello" to "The Moor, The Marry-er"?

"Mom! Kathy's feeding her liver to the dog! Want to see the video?"

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

Clive couldn't work out who was stealing office equipment...

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

Stage producer.

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

As Seen On TV

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

I'm making the definitive sledding video.

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

What I'd really like to do, of course, is direct.

The great bespeak for Miss Snevellicci

"Oh, pardon me. That's not the menu , that's my screenplay."

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

"I can't wait to go home and replace all your sports channels with cooking channels."

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Wizard of Oz Rehearsal Today. We'll have to have him lip-sync. He has a tin ear.

'Does this book come with director commentary.'