Aspiring Director Gifts

"You can chase your accounting dream later, son. Your mother and I just want you to finish film school."

"Are we going to start working with larger numbers? I want to work as a federal budget director."

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

Stage producer.

Director/Action Man toy.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'They all want to play the star.'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"Mom! Kathy's feeding her liver to the dog! Want to see the video?"

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'If I'd had someone to help me when I started, I might have made CEO...actually, I did make CEO, but you know what I mean.'

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

I'm willing to start at the bottom and work my way up to your job..

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

'I'd like to be one of those people who sets targets for other people.'

So close... Yet so far.

"When I grow up, I want to be a Presidential impersonator on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

"Progress is coming right along!"

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

"Of course I'm not quitting school, Dad! If anything, I've learned that if you want to succeed, you need passion and leadership and a whatever-it-takes attitude!"

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.