Diplomatic Achievement Gifts

The Nuclear Agreement

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump compare penis size.

A Terrible Shock

Who posted the hilarious pics of you with the goofy haircut? Not sure. Someone who wants to humiliate me. One of the usual cyber bullies. No. Meaner. Hmm

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"In the spirit of compromise, Canada is willing to offer any state of the United States, sanctuary if they wish to secede."

'Well people who said the SRA wasn't up to the job are going to have to eat their words now.'

John Kerry

Attila demands Italy and Switzerland. Keep Switzerland but give him the boot.

Adios "Mexico"!

Student Council. Ernie's no longer on the student council, but he's sticking around as a lobbyist.

"Boun giorno, Gorby!" "Buon giorno, Bush!"

"It looks suspicious to me. Next thing we know, he'll claim the U.S. is part of Russia."

It may not be correct to call it another, 'Cold War'...but a new 'Cold Front' has moved in.

'Shall we talk about your unacceptable behavior or shall we go directly to the penalty phase?'

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

Trump stirred up world opinion over Jerusalem decision

Blair's Apology

John is a moderating influence so we like to filter our proposals through his head

"What does it mean if you meet with the President and he doesn't give you a nickname?"

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin Eating from Ukraine Cake

'Extortion...never. My associates and I prefer to think of these Christmas presents as an insurance policy...'

I've been brought in to negotiate a settlement between you two. It's in the interest of this caf

Stephen Harper's China diary Day Three. Meet with Hu Jintao in sincere effort to make up for lost time.

The Demand

"We’re not ‘imposing sanctions,’ Ben – we asked you to clean your room."

Veto Powers

"I shall not raise my voice, but be aware every word I say is upper case, bold, italics and underlined."

"You know how it is! We got a warhead, they have to get a warhead."

"Let's flip for it. Heads I win, tails you lose."