Diploma Dreamers Gifts

Graduate Joins the Unemployment Queue.

The Graduate

"Sorry, but you need at least a Masters to get into the Deep Woods."

Instead of caps and gowns, night school graduates have to wear nightcaps and nightgowns.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Make a lot of money."

Continuing education.

Exam

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'I had no idea there would be a test.'

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

Good luck in your A Levels.

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

The existentialist manifesto according to Jean-Paul Sinatra-'oooby Dooby Doo!'

'And finally, if you're going to commit a felony, do it before ol' dad incurs the high cost of tuition.'

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'

Universidad