Dinner Time Renegade Pillows

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Give him his food."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'There is something wrong with the spinach. It tastes good.'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

'I know I promised to love, honour and cherish you but I don't remember saying I'd cook for you.'

"Daddy, will you read me my Twitter feed?"

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

"If it says to add water, and I'm the one who adds it, I'm cooking."

'The only time he works up a sweat is running to the dinner table...'

Late again.

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

'Due to concerns about Global Warming...I'm through with cooking.'

"It's blank!!"

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

Man placing order in a restaurant: "You know what? I can't decide. Surprise me." "Very good sir." Waiter pops up naked and shouting "Kashunga!"

'There's a problem with dinner - the roast didn't.'

'Charles, what did I tell you about bringing your work home?'

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

It's the dinner I didn't make. It's kind of a Zen Thing

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

'Here's your 'Chef's Surprise,' sir -- I'm legally required to tell you that you have one last chance to change your mind.'

"My husband's a surgeon, he can't let go of his work."