Dinner Time Renegade Pillows

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Give him his food."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

'There is something wrong with the spinach. It tastes good.'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

'I know I promised to love, honour and cherish you but I don't remember saying I'd cook for you.'

"Daddy, will you read me my Twitter feed?"

Late again.

'The only time he works up a sweat is running to the dinner table...'

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

"If it says to add water, and I'm the one who adds it, I'm cooking."

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

'Due to concerns about Global Warming...I'm through with cooking.'

"It's blank!!"

It's the dinner I didn't make. It's kind of a Zen Thing

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

'Charles, what did I tell you about bringing your work home?'

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

'There's a problem with dinner - the roast didn't.'

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

Man placing order in a restaurant: "You know what? I can't decide. Surprise me." "Very good sir." Waiter pops up naked and shouting "Kashunga!"

'Here's your 'Chef's Surprise,' sir -- I'm legally required to tell you that you have one last chance to change your mind.'

"My husband's a surgeon, he can't let go of his work."