Dinner Table Drama Pillows

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."

"Slop again?!"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

"Why do you always have to be so judgemental?"

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

"How was the food sir?"

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

"I'm not saying it's undercooked, dear, but I've seen fish hurt worse than this jump off the hook."

'Can you send this back to the kitchen. It's cold.'

"My theory is that alcohol and gluten, if taken together, will reduce fat and build muscle."

'If it tastes just like chicken... I'd rather have chicken.'

"My husband's a surgeon, he can't let go of his work."

'If I'm not mistaken; aren't these the left-overs from last night's left-overs, from...'

'Careful, this plate may be a little hot.'

'Tom Jones is still my favorite movie. It has the most explicit eating.'

"Darling, can you pass me the salt and the pepper spray?"

"Ryan, are you giving your vegetables to the Roomba again?"

If I don't make a sound, he won't notice.

'Must this family always talk sports at the dinner table?'

Chicken running out of restaurant, waiter: "Err, chickens off"

"Do we really have to use these plates?"

'And we also thank the FDA for this genetically engineered food.'