Dinner Party Critic T-Shirts

"Judith is someone who needs her sleep."

"God, I hate theme dinners."

Never Satisfied.

The Last Dinner

'This is good, dear...but no one can microwave like my mother.'

'I told you not to live-tweet this.'

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You do like octopus?"

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Gesundheit!"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

"A little lamb please."

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'