Dinner Dynamos Gifts

"What's wrong, hon? You haven't touched my food."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Cossack dancers

The Perfect Foil

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine.'

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'After you with the camouflage.'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

Man eating his meal with his feet.

"Wait. Let it breathe."

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Would you like free or expensive water?"

Man with Ironing burns on shirt - "How are things going at home Robert?"

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

"So I can eat better here at work."

"A toothbrush with a DVD player?" "Yeah, now she brushes for half an hour."

"I will avenge the underdone fish that ruined my dinner if it's the last thing I ever do."

Bebaaaaaaaop! (sheep)

"We're already wondering what her legacy might be."

'Your meal should be along shortly. Frank just went out to hunt it.'

"You know what would compliment this meal? A nice vintage milk of magnesia"

'How is the Peking Duck prepared?' 'I'll break it to her gently.'

Man placing order in a restaurant: "You know what? I can't decide. Surprise me." "Very good sir." Waiter pops up naked and shouting "Kashunga!"

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'