Dinner Delight Gifts

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

Chocs away.

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."

'Compliments to the chef from tables eight and nine, raves from bables twelve and fourteen, and proposals of marriage from tables seventeen, eighteen and nineteen.'

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

"I'm helping Mom wash the dishes."

'Freezer is on the blink.'

'What's the 'catch of the day'?'

'How's the chilli today?'; 'Much better than yesterday - I think it had a good night's sleep.'

Active Yogurt Culture

'Waiter! -- this alphabet soup is making unwelcome sexual remarks!'

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'

'Today's special is baseball stew, why here it comes now!'

Gone out.Your custard pie's in the oven.

"Collapsed Udder Syndrome?"

'No, it's not that good, but it is that expensive.'

Farmer Pickles Present.