Dinner Delight Gifts

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

Chocs away.

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

'Compliments to the chef from tables eight and nine, raves from bables twelve and fourteen, and proposals of marriage from tables seventeen, eighteen and nineteen.'

No, sir, that entr

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

"I'm helping Mom wash the dishes."

'What's the 'catch of the day'?'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

'How's the chilli today?'; 'Much better than yesterday - I think it had a good night's sleep.'

Active Yogurt Culture

'Waiter! -- this alphabet soup is making unwelcome sexual remarks!'

Gone out.Your custard pie's in the oven.

"We also have pease porridge, hot or cold. Not terribly fresh, I'm afraid."

'No, it's not that good, but it is that expensive.'

"Collapsed Udder Syndrome?"

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'