Dinner Decision Makers T-Shirts

"You can't pull this every time we need to decide where to eat."

Grace For Flies

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Party time.

Horn of Leftovers

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

Trustworthy Authority.

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

"The host? He'll be the guy standing here, alone, when the wine's gone."

"I'm NOT pontificating!"

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

"If this food is healthy, then what about the rest of the store?"

After-Life Mints

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

'And don't you touch that mammoth in the freezer. I'm saving it for company.'

'Water? Still? Sparkling? Mountain? Hill? Bottle? Tap? Warm? Cold? Ice? Lemon?'

"Look! Now they offer healthy choices we can glance at before ordering our usual junk."

"I'll have what she's having when she decides what she's having."

'So what's it to be, Indian cuisine, Chinese take out or are you going to do the usual Russian Roulette?'

"Once again the correct answer is 'I don't know.'"

'Is something wrong, dear? -- you're home on time for dinner!'

Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.

Dinner chat.

"Are you feeling O.K.? You haven't touched your phone."

'Do you mind leaving a tip before I wait on you so I can determine my service level for this table?'