Dinner Date Survivor T-Shirts

'Your body language would suggest you're not having the best time on our first date.'

'No, everything is not all right. My date ran out without leaving money to pay the bill!'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Romantic Violinist.

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Oh, how sweet of you."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

The Bare Minimum

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Love's young dream or no, they're going to have to take a hunt!'

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Have I ever told you how beautiful you are when you agree with me?'

'Look, I know I'm just the bread, but I feel like you guys aren't being emotionally honest with each other and it's going to cause problems down the road.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'Alice are you dating me only because you don't feel like cooking?'

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

"I like you and all, Carl, but you've just got too many problems."

"I love you, even though you still use a flip phone."

"Hold that afterthought!"

"I refuse to squabble in public until we're legally married."

"Remember the last time you took me out? We had ration books!"

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"Know any marches? I just gave him his marching papers."

'Oh Harry, look at that cute couple! How come we don't do anything romantic like that anymore?'

'Maybe it's the wine talking but you look as good today as the day I first settled for you.'

"Would you care for something to talk about during dinner?"

"I just wanted to tell you how much I love that you don't have a podcast."