Dinner Date Survivor T-Shirts

'Your body language would suggest you're not having the best time on our first date.'

'No, everything is not all right. My date ran out without leaving money to pay the bill!'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Romantic Violinist.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Oh, how sweet of you."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

The Bare Minimum

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Love's young dream or no, they're going to have to take a hunt!'

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Have I ever told you how beautiful you are when you agree with me?'

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

'Look, I know I'm just the bread, but I feel like you guys aren't being emotionally honest with each other and it's going to cause problems down the road.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

'Alice are you dating me only because you don't feel like cooking?'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Remember the last time you took me out? We had ration books!"

"Hold that afterthought!"

"Know any marches? I just gave him his marching papers."

"I love you, even though you still use a flip phone."

"I refuse to squabble in public until we're legally married."

'Oh Harry, look at that cute couple! How come we don't do anything romantic like that anymore?'

'Maybe it's the wine talking but you look as good today as the day I first settled for you.'

"Would you care for something to talk about during dinner?"

'Let me just run through the offside rule.'

"I just wanted to tell you how much I love that you don't have a podcast."

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"