Dining Trendsetter Gifts

"Bring me something impaled on a tusk."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Is the MSG local?"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Haute Chinese

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"What's trending?"

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

Popeye Switches to Kale.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

Avacados

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

"I see what I want to eat. Where do I click 'add to cart'?"

French-America Cuisine: Corn Flake Flambe!

"I wonder if you folks are aware that black cod is this year's Chilean sea bass?"

"This is sort of my little homage to the American farm woman."

"People don't care what they're eating as long as they're the first ones to eat it."

"It's over between kale and me -- I've moved onto sorrel."

"Dinner comes complete with coffee and your choice of dessert or an oil painting."