Trendsetter In Dining Gifts

Haute Chinese

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Is the MSG local?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"What's trending?"

Popeye Switches to Kale.

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

Avacados

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"I see what I want to eat. Where do I click 'add to cart'?"

"I wonder if you folks are aware that black cod is this year's Chilean sea bass?"

"Bring me something impaled on a tusk."

"This is sort of my little homage to the American farm woman."

French-America Cuisine: Corn Flake Flambe!

"People don't care what they're eating as long as they're the first ones to eat it."

"Dinner comes complete with coffee and your choice of dessert or an oil painting."

'Uh... did you say you are on a lead diet?' 'Dude... it's all natural!'

"We grow all our own bad-tasting ugly things."

"It's over between kale and me -- I've moved onto sorrel."

"It's fast-casual."

Mother Nature's Health Foods

"There's kale in every dish here - buy you don't even taste it."