Dining Trendsetter T-Shirts

"Bring me something impaled on a tusk."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Is the MSG local?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Haute Chinese

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"What's trending?"

Popeye Switches to Kale.

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

Avacados

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

"I see what I want to eat. Where do I click 'add to cart'?"

"This is sort of my little homage to the American farm woman."

"I wonder if you folks are aware that black cod is this year's Chilean sea bass?"

French-America Cuisine: Corn Flake Flambe!

"People don't care what they're eating as long as they're the first ones to eat it."

"It's fast-casual."

"It's over between kale and me -- I've moved onto sorrel."

Mother Nature's Health Foods