Dining Table Dancer T-Shirts

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"That explains all the cavities."

"I'll assume, then, my remarks have hit a responsive chord?"

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

Screen Time at the Dining Table

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

Baking Bread

"Waiter, our son is a tasteless schmuck!"

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

"Slop again?!"

How Mrs Pavlov Would Call her Son to the Dinner Table

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'

"Darling, can you pass me the salt and the pepper spray?"

'For God's sake, Ellie, we're vegetarian.'

"This is a green vegetable, Mom. You wouldn't want me to break a new year's resolution, would you?"

'If it tastes just like chicken... I'd rather have chicken.'

'That's it - I'm leaving home!'

"My theory is that alcohol and gluten, if taken together, will reduce fat and build muscle."

"Ryan, are you giving your vegetables to the Roomba again?"