Dinner Table Tacticians T-Shirts

How Mrs Pavlov Would Call her Son to the Dinner Table

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"The last doggy bag."

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

'This board meeting will come to order!'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

Screen Time at the Dining Table

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

Nuclear Families

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

"Why do you always have to be so judgemental?"

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

"Use your phone once more during dinner...And I'll send you close-ups of my patients' wounds."

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

Break Bread, Not Wind.

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

I don't care who you are - if you didn't reserve the round table. I'll have to seat you in a booth.

No caption (A ball boy crouches by the net on a ping pong table as a game is being played).

"Waiter, our son is a tasteless schmuck!"

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"