Dining Out Experts T-Shirts

"..and I'll have the rocket salad"

Life is for the birds.

'A cheeky red?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

Wine taster with mineral water

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

"And what would you like to regret later?"

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

"Yes I know I ordered fresh crab but..."

"Oh, put a cork in it...the bottle, you, the wine steward."

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

'How's the curry?'

'Like it? It's my digital vest, it calculates calories, portions and price per pound!'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"Careful. Plates are hot, cold and just right."

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

Little Miss Muffet Does Lunch

" and my husband will have..."

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"