Dining Out Experts Prints

"..and I'll have the rocket salad"

Life is for the birds.

'A cheeky red?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

Wine taster with mineral water

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"And what would you like to regret later?"

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

"Oh, put a cork in it...the bottle, you, the wine steward."

'Like it? It's my digital vest, it calculates calories, portions and price per pound!'

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

'How's the curry?'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"Yes I know I ordered fresh crab but..."

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"Careful. Plates are hot, cold and just right."

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

Little Miss Muffet Does Lunch

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

'It says I forgot my wallet.'