Dining Out Addict T-Shirts

"I grew up in a very rough neighbourhood, but I've never met anyone as tough as this steak!"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'A cheeky red?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Rump roast?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Today's special... donuts.

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"