Diner Trips T-Shirts

"Yeah, single origin coffee - from this pot."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"Is the MSG local?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

Countervailing Clichés.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'How is the water prepared?'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

'Can I have flies with that'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

'Tasty bird.'

'Pass the grey stuff.'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"What do you recommend today?"

I'll try the cod surprise.

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"